Thursday, June 7, 2012

My Baby Shower Gift to You

{we did it!}

Either something's in the water or it's just the stage of life that we're in, but I know so many pregnant ladies right now. 
This letter is for them. 
{and the future moms-to-be as well, cause you're time will come...amanda. and amy. hehe}

Dear {insert name},

Yes. I'm talking to you.
You beautifully glowing mama in the making, you.
Look at that, growing a human being and all.
Girl. That's pretty amazing. pretttttty darn amazing.
I'm betting nine months seems like an eternity chock full of pretty darn amazing and potentially less than amazing moments now, doesn't it?
Sure, it's all rainbows and glitter and gender revealing cupcake parties,
until you're reminded {approx. 793 times. 812 if you include complete strangers at the grocery store} of the whole "THAT has to squeeze out of THAT!?"

Plus the heartburn, and the sleepless nights, and the awkward summer months squeezed into a bikini while the bump hasn't completely -umped yet, more like, {too many} -cheeseburgered.  

No wonder some women drink red wine during their pregnancy. 

I almost poured myself a glass as well. 
Especially after several particularly uncomfortable TUMS induced constipation labors, that sent my hypnobirthing confident-self into a downward spiral. 

Cause if I can't even do THAT, how am I gonna do THAT!? 

{I'm assuming by now, you know what the "that's" are referring to}

And so began many a tossed and turned night, praying for a miraculous cure to any and all birthing discomfort. This is 2012 people! We have Siri and Tupac holograms for goodness sake.

But like most of life does, nine months goes by fast.
One minute you're trying to solve the 1+1 pink line mystery equation while your husband's gone camping for the weekend,
and the next you're huffing and puffing your way through the hospital entrance at 11 PM, {hopefully not while your husband's gone camping for the weekend}

us girls are pretty strong. prettttttty darn strong.

Like, I am woman hear me roar strong.

Which you might do. 
You might roar during labor. 
Who cares though.

"We've heard and seen it all," said my nurse friend who had a lady accidentally poop on her shoe during labor. 
Which, somehow made me feel better, because, really, what are the odds that'll happen to you too?

I did a lot of moaning and combing my fingers through my hair. 
Plus, a lot of slurping down those cranberry-sprite spritzer mocktails my bartender moonlighting as a nurse kept making me. 

In the end, all that matters is your baby. 
and hospital ice. 
Both are quite fabulous.


{Bon Bon}


The Ls said...

I love this, and I'm not even pregnant. Sooo bookmarking for the future! :)

Thanks girl.

Becca said...

Oh Bonnie, this is hilarious and true...especially the ice part. :)

Nessa @{Casa Braaflat} said...

bonnie, this is funny and sweet but not too sweet. just the right amount (how i like things).
you friends are lucky to have you!

BELL HERE said...

we-ell...i'm 21 weeks and i wasn't scared of anything until i read your letter! :) kidding! it made me smile. hopefully i can eventually embrace my pregnancy like so many glowing women do...but up to this point i mostly just want to hide. :) what's wrong with me?


Jesse said...

the ice is crucial. oh and i ate about five zillion winter green life savers. amazing!

Amy said...

My little sister is pregnant and I'm so showing this to her.

AND thank you, oh thank you for the shout out to the nurses. Us nurses appreciate when you recognize our other talents, such as bar tending, waitressing, and having seen everything gross that you could imagine (I SWEAR the majority of women poop while giving birth, I have seen it with my own eyes).

Pregnancy is such a beautiful thing though. sigh

Amanda said...

Amazing letter! I'll need to re-read this in like 10 years when I'm making babies :)

Kira said...

You are so funny, I love how you threw Tupac holograms in there. Haha.

Rachel said...

Haha,I'm not pregnant yet,but this is amazing!I must remember this little inspirational post of yours for when my time comes...becomes I'm almost sure I'll have my share of "I can't do this" freak out moments!

Young and Fabulous said...

this is SO AWESOME!!

going to favorite this for the day I am preggo :-)

loooove this mama! :-)


Alexis Kaye said...

haha :) I think I can do it now ;)

but I still can't get over the that comes out of that equation. Like really, how is childbirth even possible?

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

I love it! My husband and I still don't have kiddos yet, but all our friends do (or are pregnant with their first). So I am learning LOTS about it all, haha! I really loved reading your letter, though! :)

Shalyn said...

Ah YEA hospital ice! Can you believe I am ready to do it all again already? I loved this!

Shalyn said...

Ah YEA hospital ice! Can you believe I am ready to do it all again already? I loved this!

Holly said...

I love this letter too, and now I'm only SLIGHTLY scared of having children, haha. :P

Jessica Holly said...

thank you for this :)

vickichristine said...

this is lovely. thanks. :) xo

Lana and Chris McCoy said...

you are the best Bon-Bon! Love this post - and I am so far away from the preggo-bug here in Serbia. Miss you and that little baby bean! Cannot wait to get home in a month!

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