"I pity the fool!" hashtag feather earring hashtag is this real life
I've never been a BIG Halloween person. First of all, I hate spiders, and feel like this could be a general consensus with the majority of the world's population. Then every year October rolls around and spiders become cute, (CUTE?!) on the shelves of Target and fake cobwebs become a celebrated addition to the household like we normally don't Swiffer them the heck out of our ceiling fans. Nope.
You've walked through a cobweb before, right?
We all look like cats clawing our way out of the bathtub when it happens.
Not cute. Not ok.
My Halloween HumBug List:
*Spiders. That's been established.
*I hope all dead things just go to Heaven and stay there. I'll live my life here, you stay there. We can celebrate later.
*Watching Miley Cyrus' VMA performance once was enough to last a lifetime. Your costume doesn't need to show us that the main side effects of too much twerking are poor choices, latex, and cow tongue.
*Fake blood reminds me of four life experiences: Childbirth, donating to the Red Cross, smashing my thumb in the sliding glass door, and high school wood working class.
We've seen enough of the real stuff. Go away.
So why why why do I partake in Halloween?
Anything caramel chocolate and a miniature Mr. T searching for "More candies!"
(Also, of course, watching "Hocus Pocus" which goes against my humbuggery but, I mean, Bette Midler. You have to)